Mamas, God Chose You.

Motherhood is amazing, beautiful, wonderful.  It’s the best job in the world, and you love it more than anything.  It’s a blessing, and you’re thankful for every moment of it.  There’s nothing like it.

But it’s also hard.  The day to day is hard, and when shit happens, which it absolutely does, it’s hard.  And it’s okay.

There might be days where you have scrubbed and swept all day, picked up countless toys, made a hundred snacks and sandwiches and meals, mopped up tears and broken up fights, walked that baby for hours and hours out of the day… and then asked yourself why you can’t stay on top of the chores.

You’re not the only one who is absolutely sick of laundry and dishes.

Or frustrated because you stayed up all night getting your house spotless, and someone just left their shoes in the middle of the floor, and spilled something all over the table.

Or lonely if you stay at home with toddlers all day and you’re starving for adult conversation.

You’re not the only one who forgot how to socialize.

And you’re not the only one who is ready to lose it if your child gets one more attitude with you, or tells you no to your face, or completely ignores you.

It’s hard, ya’ll.  I know it is.  It’s not supposed to be easy, and I don’t know a single person who never has a cloudy day.

I know you feel a little guilty for feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, lonely, worn out, or just sad.  You’re a mother, you give and give until you sometimes feel like there’s nothing else to give.  Then you give more.  Even when it comes to your thoughts, you want to be the perfect mother.  Not really because of any standards of society, but because you love your kids more than anything in the freaking universe, and you know they deserve the world.

But there is not a single perfect mother in the world.  And God chose YOU.  He gave those babies to you for a reason.  Don’t doubt yourself.

No matter what some people might say, it’s okay to feel like it’s hard.  Because it is.  Nothing worth doing comes easily, and motherhood is an extremely challenging and rewarding job.  Not just physically.  But as children grow up, they start reaching for independence, a little bit at a time.  Sometimes it’s frustrating, and sometimes it just hurts.  And we can’t even show it.  That’s hard.  Then you’ve got so many people in the world who just want to tell you you’re doing it wrong.  Most of the time we try not to care what people think, but when it comes to parenting, it’s different.

And then there are times where you just don’t know what to do.  I firmly believe most of us are just winging it, half the time, at least.

So at the end of the day, pour you a glass of wine, take a deep breath and cut yourself a break.  You’re doing an awesome job!

Summer Sanity Saver – Dancing!!

It’s Summer ya’ll.

Summer.

With kids.

And no school.

Need I say more?  Besides the words coffee and wine?

So yeah, I’m looking for any and all ideas on kids’ activities.  Especially easy and cheap ones.  And absolutely anything that lets them burn energy!

I created a group board on Pinterest, Kids Activities, where we can share these ideas!!  You can follow the board, or message me if you want to be added!! 😊😊😊

First idea:  DANCING!  It gives kids an outlet for their boundless energy, and there are so many options on YouTube.  I like the Just Dance videos because even though it’s not “kids” songs, they still love it and it’s all censored. And they are so fun to dance to!  We also love some of the other channels, too.  I’ve put a couple of playlists together of our favorite dance songs.  The first one is perfect for younger kids, and the second one is our favorite Just Dance videos.

Let me know if ya’ll have any ideas on other songs I can add to these!

May Happiness Challenge

Okay so we are not going to pay attention to the fact that this post is a month late………. Two preschoolers + 3 month old baby = BUSY MOM.  It’s cool though.  Hopefully we tried some of the happiness techniques in May to make up for it and now we can do two things in June.  It’s summer break, guys.  We need all the help we can get.

Anyway, for May we are going to try for PATIENCE.  Let’s do this all summer, ya’ll.  Like I said, we need it.

The one area I need patience with is PARENTING.  My 5 year old is going through a phase, or whatever you want to call it, where his attitude is worse than a teenager’s.  All of a sudden he has extra energy, he is louder than normal, and defiant.  Yay.  My 3 year old doesn’t listen at all, and whines every time her brother so much as looks at her.  And my 3 month old is going through a growth spurt, so she is hungry every 2 hours, and clingy the rest of the time.  Oh.  And ALL 3 OF THEM hate naps.  The older two gave them up, and the baby only sleeps about 30 minutes at a time, for like 2 naps.  My house is a mess, my husband is working and taking a summer class, and sometimes I just want to lock myself in a room.

I haven’t gotten to that point yet.  So it’s time to work on some patience.

Here are the things I’m going to do to help myself and be a better mom.

  1. Loosen up on the house.  That doesn’t mean let it go completely… It just means lower your standards a little bit.  Whether it’s getting rid of half of the crap you own or ignoring some of the clutter, letting the dishes wait, and getting dressed from the Laundry Chair for a little while.
  2. Happy place.  Like on Happy Gilmore, only less weird.  Find a happy place and count to 10.  This combination might help you calm down just a little, so you can take a breath instead of reacting with anger and yelling.  Which is the last thing we want to do.
  3. Ground yourself.  Not that kind of grounding.  I mean like the whole mindfulness thing.  It sounds crazy but it helps you center yourself, focus on what’s actually important and find your calm.
  4. Take control.  I completely lose my patience when some things are out of my control.  I don’t like it.  And it’s not like you can always have control in life (control freak, right?) but in parenting you NEED it.  Kids don’t get to have control.  And when they are acting up, and you let them get the best of you by reacting in anger, they win.  Take control of your emotions, take control of the situation, and take control of parenting.
  5. Be consistent.  In everything you do, not just with parenting.  Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself, especially your kids because they are like vultures that will swoop down on any perceived weakness.  It’s just what kids do.  If the first time they hit, you sit them in time-out, and the next time you ground them, and the next time you get frustrated and yell, they don’t have clear rules.  Kids need clear rules.  Be consistent and they won’t keep testing you so much.  Which equals more patience.
  6. Let it go.  Pick your battles.  Some things are not as big of a deal as you think – it’s more of a power struggle than anything.  Try to recognize these, and be the bigger person than your 5 year old and let it go.  Distraction still works, and sometimes it’s the best option.
  7. Hugs and kisses.  Show them the love they need, all day and even when you’re mad.  It will help both of you calm down and start over.
  8. Play.  Get in the floor and play with them.  Make time for it.  It makes a huge difference in their behavior over time, and I know this from experience.  And it also helps with patience later on.

I’m no expert.  I still barely know what I’m doing half the time, but I think most of us are like that, whether we admit it or not.  The definition for Parenting should just be:  wing it until they move out.  So if you don’t agree with what I’m saying, no hard feelings!  I hope this helps someone and I am ALWAYS open to new ideas.  Parenting is hard, and I’m realizing it gets harder in some ways, over time.  So good luck with your patience, ya’ll!